Lady Sydney

Well, it's been a while since I've taken a peak at your Exiles , so I will have to do some catching up, because I'm not sure I remember what's ...

This was a good revision to your first chapter. I think it sounds better this way. One thing, though. “Lives not fair!... I could have been reading the sentence wrong, ...

Hey there, Ka Seven! ^_^ I thought that, since I have this free time, I would go ahead and read your story... rather than gaze mindlessly at my ceiling, daydreaming. ...

What... is this? :? I'll start off with a simple correction of your whole piece: W ho am I? Who are you? I'm a nobody in a "Somebody" town. Who ...

The first thing you might want to do is get rid of the caps in your title. :wink: It's not too appealing. ^_^ I liked this! The content was fine ...

Eek! :shock: Blocks and blocks of words! >.< You may want to try and space out your paragraphs. When you have them all mushed together like this, it makes your ...

Ooh, that was so good until the last line! >.< I'm not sure if this was part of the poem or just something you said yourself. But... -and thats the ...

Agreeing with Suzanne completely. Ok, for your first piece of writing, it probably wasn't the best choice for you to post something like this. It's a bit (well not even ...

I really liked this! It provides excellent imagery and you have a smoothe flow that keeps your readers wanting more. (hint hint, nudge nudge. lol) Looking forward to the rest ...

I liked them both. They seem kinda witty to me. ^_^ I agree that if we talk more, others wouldn't listen, and your poem showed that even without you explaining ...

This was good. Though, I was confused about your rhythm; some of it seemed kind of off. :? The last two lines, for instance. Otherwise, I found this to be ...

That was wonderful. ^_^ I loved it all. I'm not the best person to give a critique on poetry, but I found this easy to follow and enjoyable to read. ...

Hey, gothgiril01. Well, unfortunately... I'm going to have to agree with Ayra. You didn't grasp my attention and make me want to read more. I stopped about halfway through. You ...

That was so sweet! But, I'm a helpless romantic, so I think everything's sweet. :roll: lol Really, though, he did a great job with this. I can tell how much ...

Ah, very nice. I liked it! :D I have a thing for the Victorian ages, so if you ever continue, I'd like to know. ^_^ There was nothing really wrong ...